


Diminishing Sun

by Patchitehemo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Absent John, Abused Reader, Abusive John Winchester, Adorable, Big Brother Dean, Big Brother Dean Winchester, Big Brother Sam, Big Brother Sam Winchester, Big brother Sam and dean, Child Abuse, Comforting Dean, Comforting Sam, Cute, Family, Fluff, Good Big Brother Dean, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Little sister reader, Mary died a few years later, Mean John, Neglected reader, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Sweet, confused reader, good big brother sam, hurt reader, john is an asshole, reader is 5 years younger than sam, rude john, scared reader, sister reader, young reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3318107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patchitehemo/pseuds/Patchitehemo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are the youngest of the Winchesters, and you used to be the brightest...that is until your mother died and John blamed you for it.<br/>Or<br/>The readers life over the years dealing with the feeling she ruined her brother lives.</p><p>*DISCONTINUED*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Mary didn't die when Azazel fed Sam his blood. She lived 6 more years and had the reader. Mary dies while they are hiding from demons looking for John because the Reader( who is a baby) cries, ultimately giving away their position.**
> 
> The reader is blonde, sorry! I wanted her to look almost just like Mary. She also has hazel eyes like Sam.
> 
> **In this chapter, the reader is 4, Sam is 9, and Dean is 13.

You didn't understand why Daddy always left. 

Dean, your oldest brother, told you that Daddy had to go on business trips and that he couldn't take his children with him. 

"Deeaan," you wailed, tearing streaming down your chubby cheeks. You missed your Dad and wanted him to come home. You sobbed loudly as Dean walked over to your playpin and picked you up.

He tried to calm you down by bouncing you up and down but you just cried louder into his ear. He sighed and rubbed your back. "Come on, kiddo. I need you to calm down so you can tell me what's buggin' ya."

"Wa-waddy," you sputtered out in between sobs.

Dean smiled and stroked your long blonde hair. He would have to cut it soon before it grew long enough for you to trip over. 

"I can't understand you. Just take a deep breath and try again."

You followed your big brother's advice, deeply breathing in and out. Eventually, you were calmed down enough to speak correctly. 

"Dad-Daddy is gone." Dean frowned as the words left your mouth. "And me want to see Daddy!" 

"I already told you, Y/N. Daddy is on a h- business trip."

You pouted adorably, causing Dean's smile to return at full force. "You're so cute, you know that?" He _bopped_ your nose and you giggled involuntary.

"Daddy will be back in a few days. Since he is gone though, you get to eat all kinds of sweets!" 

Your sour mood turned immediately as Dean mentioned sweets. A huge grin spread across your face and you bounced in his arms. "Really, Dean?"

He smiled down at you. You looked so much like his Mother. Actually, if it wasn't for your hazel eyes, you'd be a spitting image of her. He was sure you would grow up and be just as beautiful as she was.

Getting his mind back on track, he laughed and asked, "Would I lie to my favorite sister?"

You gasped. "You have anodder sister?" 

Dean looked at your face. Your eyes were wide with shock and your mouth was slightly open. He brushed the hair out of your face before leaning down to kiss your forehead. "No. You're the only one. And you always will be."  
,-*'^'~*-.,_,.-*~• •~*-.,_,.-*~'^'*-,  
A few sugar filled days later, John was home, trudging through the front door of the motel dirtied and bloodied. 

It was only fifteen minutes past eight, but you were fast asleep. Four days of running around playing hide and seek with your big brothers had finally caught up to you.

Sam was over on the other bed, nose shoved in a book about how to divide easily. Even at his young age, he was ever the bookworm.

Dean was laying down on the bed closest to the window, watching television with the volume down low. You were nestled into his side, right under his armpit. You squirmed when someone on the T.V yelled loudly, but otherwise remained asleep. 

Sam had just gotten to the second chapter, and it was so far very interesting, when John had walked in. "Hey Dad," he acknowledged without looking up from his book. 

"Hey Sammy.." John trailed off once his eyes landed on his oldest and his youngest cuddled together on the bed. "Sam, why don't you go and buy a soda for me from one of the vending machines near the main building?" He pulled a dollar out and waited on Sam.

The floppy-haired boy sighed as he put his book down. He looked over at Dean and their eyes connected. His big brother nodded and mumbled a 'do as dad tells ya' before he actually got up and took the money from John.

Dean turned off the T.V when Sam left the room and sighed. Obviously John had something to talk about. He looked down at your face as he waited for his father to speak. You looked so peaceful, almost deadlike. Dean knew otherwise though, as he could feel the slow rise and fall of your chest against his side.

"Why isn't she in her pin?"

The harshness of his father's words took Dean by surprise. He slowly lifted his head to look at his father. And instantly regretted it.  
"She fell asleep on me and I didn't want to disturb her. It's not big deal-"

"It is a big deal!" John yelled.

Your hand moved to grab Dean's shirt, but you didn't stir.

"Why?" Dean knew he would probably get backhanded for arguing but he couldn't find it in him to care. "She isn't doing anything wrong. She's just a toddler. S'not like she's gonna kill me in her sleep or somethin' " He ran his fingers through your hair , massaging your scalp. The corners of your mouth turned up slightly in sleep.

"Maybe not intentionality."

Dean's hand stilled it's movements. Did his father just...

"Are you kidding me?" Dean raised his voice as anger took over. "Are you actually blaming Y/N for moms death?" 

John's expression harded at the mention of Mary.

"Oh my god" Dean shook his head in disbelief. "Why the-"

_"Dean?"_

Your big brother looked down and saw you staring sleepily up at him. You yawned and flexed your tiny fingers. "Deeean, why you crying?"

Dean touched his face and, sure enough, there was wetness.

You reached your short arm up and wiped your big brother's tears away. Why was he sad? Did he just wake up from a nightmare? Just as you opened your mouth to speak, you heard a deep noise from across the tiny motel room. You looked over and gasped with joy.

"Daddy!" You left the heat of Dean's body and jumped off of the bed, running towards the father you missed so much. You tightly wrapped your small arms around one of his thick, manly legs and laughed delightfully.

Dean watched from the bed as John stiffened and stared down at his little sister. John made no move to pick her up or show her affection.

"Daddy I missed you so much! Dean told me you would be home but I didn't listen to him an' now you're here an' " You quit rambling as you realized your daddy was looking at you with a mean expression. "Daddy?" You took a step back and glanced over at Dean.

John saw the sadness in your eyes from his rejection and forced a tight lipped smile. "Why don't you go outside and find Sammy, Y/N," your dad offered. 

Your eyes lit up with excitement at the mention of your other big brother. 

Dean tried to protest that letting a four year old go outside alone was a bad idea but John shot him a look that clearly said 'dont'.

John opened the door and you ran outside. "SAAAMMYY! Ready or not, here I come!"  
,-*'^'~*-.,_,.-*~• •~*-.,_,.-*  
Sam rolled the soda can between his palms. It had been almost ten minutes since John sent him out of the room so he could talk to Dean. He sighed. It was always something since his mother died. John always found _something_ to yell at Dean about. Sam turned around to walk back to the room. As he started walking, something bit his leg.

"Ow!" He looked down, prepared to shoo away whatever animal had bit him when he saw the mop of blonde hair. "Y/N?" 

You giggled as Sam leaned down and picked you up. You liked Sam. He was easier to play with most of the time because he was closer in age than to Dean. 

Sam sighed. "What are you doing outside? Do you even know how far you wandered off from the room?" 

You reached up and tangled your stubby fingers in his hair and lightly pulling it. It was a habit you picked up as a baby and you did it every single time Sam picked you up. "Daddy said come outside to find you. Daddy gunna be proud of me for finding you so fast!"

Sam laughed and carried you back to the hotel room. When he got to the door, you had already fallen asleep again. Sam placed the soda in between your bodies so he could open the door. When he shut the door and looked around, John was gone.

"Where's Dad?"

"Out. At a bar."

Sam walked over to the beds and offered you to Dean. "She fell asleep on the way back over here." Dean shook his head.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Dude. Since when do you not want to hold Y/N. You love holding her when she sleeps."

Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Since Dad chewed me out for not putting her back in the playpin 'where she belongs' " 

Sam didn't press on the subject thankfully. He placed you in your playpin, giving you a whispered 'love ya cutie' before climbing into bed.

John didn't return that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warning**  
> John is an asshole and he really doesn't love the reader. He 100% blames her for Mary's death and hates her. She basically is just someone he is forced to take care of.
> 
> **Child abuse**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was revised 4-23-15 Major plot has been changed. If you read before please re read this.

Dean didn't pick you up much after that. Actually, he almost acted like you didn't even exist. 

Why didn't he give you attention? Was he angry at you? Was it because you put bows in Sam's hair and not his? 

You huffed in anger. You didn't do anything wrong. Dean was just being a butt.

You looked around the motel room. A smile brightened your face as you spotted a mess of brown and pink sitting on the floor. 

"Sammy!" You ran across the room and jumped onto your brother's back. 

Sam almost fell forward under your weight. "Hey Y/N," he laughed. He grabbed you from his back and put you in his lap. "What do you think you're doing?"

You giggled loudly and grabbed a lock of his hair. "I loves you Sam."

Your big brother smiled as he smoothed down your messy blonde hair. "I love you too Y/N...now can I take these bows out of my hair?" 

You frowned, unconsciously tugging on the bunch of Sam's hair in your hand. "Why?"  
You were very confused as to why Sam would want the bows gone. They made him look extra pretty.

" 'Cause I'm a boy and this makes me look silly," Sam started. He told himself he was going to be firm but ultimately, he crumbled under your sad gaze and pout. "Fine...they can stay."

You squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck. "You are the best big brother ever, Sammy!" You peppered his face in tiny, little kisses. 

Sam laughed and untangled you from around him. He looked down at you and smiled. His gaze went over your shoulder and immediately, the smile dropped from his face. You turned around and a frown appeared on your face.

"How'd the research go?" Sam asked his older brother.

Dean forced a smile. "I found out what the thing is, so I guess it went well." He looked at you and rolled his eyes before he walked over to the bed and fell onto it face first. 

You unconsciously tugged hard on Sam's hair and he grunted. He looked down at you in concern. You only pulled hard when you were either nervous, worried, or freaking out. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest. 

"Sammy...," you breathed. Your big brother rubbed your back as he kissed your head. "Why doesn't De like me anymore?" You whispered your question low, not wanting Dean to hear.

"Dean is...confused, Y/N" 

You heard movement come from the bed, followed by the sound of footsteps and the door slamming shut. Sam sighed and kissed your head. 

"He is just following orders."  
,-*'^'~*-.,_,.-*~• •~*-.,_,.-*~'^'*-,  


Years passed by after that without incident.

Dean had to quit high school, though. You were the perfect age to start your hunter training but John couldn't do that if he had to finish raising Sammy. So Dean dropped out. He and Sam went back to Lawerence so Sam could finish school. Of course, Dean had to get a lousy, crappy bartending job to pay for food and the motel room, but besides that you heard that they were doing good.

Dean and you never became as close as you were before the fight He didn't ignore you now, but he also didn't interact with you any more then what was required. Which meaned no phone calls everyday just to ask how your life was going.

With your brothers gone, John could finally teach you how to hunt, though he did so without your knowledge.

John took you to gun ranges, told you things about weird mythical creatures, and also told you how to kill those creatures.

You would be lying if you said it didn't creep you out, and luckily for John, you weren't one to ask questions.

You sighed as you shoved the rest of your clothes into your duffel. You were moving. Again. As usual. 

"Why do we always have to move?" You picked up your phone to see if one of your brothers had texted or called you. Nope.

John made eye contact with you for about the first time in about year."Gotta go where my boss tells me."

You rolled your eyes. Everything out of your father's mouth was a lie. You were 10 almost 11. You may be young, but you weren't blind. You knew your dad didn't have a boss. He rode around the country and lived in motel rooms. What kind of job was that? "Liar," you mumbled under your breath.

John tensed up and you looked down. "What did you just say?" 

You stood your ground. "I called you a liar. I'm not stupid, dad." 

John scowled and marched over to you. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" John grabbed the top of your arms. "You should show me some respect." 

You cried out as John squeezed your arms painfully. Your resolve broke quickly and you began to regret even speaking in the first place. " 'M sorry!" 

John scoffed and pushed you on the ground. "How dare you speak to me like that!" He struck you across the face and you swore you tasted blood.

Tears were running freely down your face now and your vision blurred from the lack of air you were getting.

Why was your father hitting you? You knew you weren't his favorite but he never had hit one of his children out of anger. You thought that your relationship with your father had taken a turn for the better. Apparently, you were wrong.

"You know why your mother isn't here, Y/N?" He voice twisted with disgust as he spit out your name. You shook your head kept your gaze down. 

John roughly gripped your face and forced you to look at him. "Look at me when I speak to you!" 

You unwilling looked into your father's eyes. Fresh tears fell down your face as you saw the repulsion there. "Your mother died because you couldn't keep your stupid mouth shut," he spat in your face ,"Mary died because-"

A blow to the cheek silenced what ever John was going to say and he was the one on the floor now. His rough hands were replaced with gentle ones.

John continued to shout cruel slurs at you until Dean shut him up with another blow to the head that knocked him out cold. 

"Y/N its okay." Sam. Sam's hands were on your face." I'm here. We're here. Dad isn't going to hurt you anymore."

Mostly everything that happened next passed in a blur.

You felt yourself being lifted off the ground and into Sam's arms. For 15, he was pretty strong. 

One of your hands went into Sam's hair and you tugged repeatedly. He winced slightly but didn't make any move stop you. 

Sam carried you out the door and placed you down in the back of the Impala. You pulled his hair hard and he yelped out in pain. Sam reached up to untangle your hand. "Y/N its alright. I'll be right back." 

You sobbed in response but let go of his hair. Sam ran back into the motel to help Dean, leaving you alone and in pain.

Exhausted mentally and physically, you let unconsciousness claim you.


	3. Reasoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE RE READ CHAPTER 2. I CHANGED ALOT OF THINGS AND IT HAS BECOME IMPORTANT PLOT.

You awoke to darkness, then your brain registered a cool dampness on your face. 

Why was there a wet rag on your face?

You reached up to remove the rag when a hand stopped you. You flinched away from the contact, causing pain to blossom in your stomach.

"Whoa kiddo", came a gruff, familiar voice.

You ignored Dean and removed the rag anyways. With your vision unblocked, you took in your surroundings with a gasp.

"Where am I?"

Dean gave you a sad smile. "At Bobby's."

"Why?"

Your big brother frowned. "You don't remember?" 

You searched your mind. The last thing you remembered was reluctantly packing your bags after a successful day after the shooting range. "Remember what?"

As Dean opened his mouth to speak, Sam entered the room, hands full of snacks. His eyes landed on you and he flashed you a bright smile. "Hey Y/N. Glad to see you're awake."

"Yeah, me too," you giggled. 

Sam made his way over to you and handed you what was in his hands.

You laid the snacks to the side and focused on the cup filled with a weird, brown liquid. Cautious, you brought the cup up to your nose and inhaled.

"Yuck!"

You handed the cup back to Sam and crossed your arms. "I'm not drinking your herbal tea crap, Sam."

Sam shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. Just thought it would help."

You scoffed. "Yeah well I'll pass." 

Dean and Sam shared eye contact, a conversation passing in their eyes. Sam nodded in response.

"What?" You asked, not liking feeling left out. 

Dean sighed. He leaned over the bed and rested a hand on your leg. "Now listen Y/N...I'm gonna tell you what happened and you can't freak out." 

This confused you. "What the hell are you talking about?" Dean narrowed his eyes at your choice of words, but said nothing about it.

"You and Dad got into an argument." Dean took a long pause. Irritated, you nodded at him to keep going. "We don't really know what happened. Me and Sam got there after you were on the ground."

"On the ground?" Your brow furrowed. "Why was I on the ground?"

Dean removed his hand from your leg to take your hand in his. Your eyes flickered from his eyes to your hands twined together. Why was everyone acting so weird?

"Dad lost his temper and he hit you."

You scoffed "That's hilarious."

Sam and Dean gave you serious looks.  
"Seriously?" Dean nodded. "Why?"

"He got angry," Sam said simply.

"Yeah but he wouldn't hit me!" You snatched your hand out of Dean's. "Dad loves me!"

The way Sam was looking at you made you want to scream. His face was so sympathetic. "Ugh, stop looking at me like that Sammy!" 

His expression changed to confused. "Like what?" 

"Like you're sorry for what happened. Nothing friggin happened." Your temper was getting the better of you and you were acting like a brat but honestly, you couldn't care less.

Dean reached for you but you easily evaded his touch. You threw your legs over the side of the bed and stood. 

"Y/N you arent-"

The blood that rushed in your head cut off Dean's words. Immediately, you felt faint. Your knees wobbled and the ground entered your vision. You shut your eyes and waited for the impact that never came.

Strong arms caught you before you hit the floor. "I told you aren't strong enough," Dean muttered into your ear, "You need to stay in bed."

Willingly, you let Dean drag you back into bed. He picked the rag up off the ground and went into the bathroom. After a moment of water running, Dean returned and placed the freshly wet rag on your forehead.

Dean's face leaning over you was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes. "Move."

Dean smiled down at you but stayed put. He took your head in his hands, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. After an awkward moment of eye contact, he finally spoke. 

"You feel that pain in your body?"

You nodded slightly.

Dean frowned. "Dad did that."

You opened your mouth to speak-

"No Y/N. You need to accept this." Ignoring your eye roll, he continued. "Dad loves you. He loves all of us. But Dad's always loved you less."

"Dean!" Sam scolded.

Dean turned his head to look at his brother. "She's old enough to know."

You reached up and pushed Dean's hands away from your face. "Know what?" Your gaze flickered between your two older brothers.

Dean leaned back and you shifted up to lay back against the headboard of the bed. The rag that was resting on your forehead fell into your lap, causing wetness to seep through your blanket.

Dean reached over and picked the rag off of your lap, tossing it into the bathroom through the open door. Turning back to face you, he dragged his fingers through his hair and, despite the seriousness of the current situation, you smiled. That was Dean's old nervous habit. You hadn't seen him in almost a year until now and it made you a happy that he still had his little habit.

Shaking your head, you brought yourself back to the present. "Dean." Your brother dropped his hand and made eye contact. "Why did you say that about Dad?"

Dean let out a humorless laugh. " 'Cause of what happened to Mom."

You shifted back slightly. "What?"

Dean opened his mouth to speak but Sam spoke up. "Dad held a stupid...uh...grudge against you."

Now it was Dean's turn to speak up. "That's why he hit you."

"He hit me because of a grudge?" You couldn't help but scoff. "I don't even know what I did wrong!"

Dean swallowed loudly as Sam moved from behind him and over to sit next to you. Whatever they were about to tell you, it was big. You reached up and carded your fingers through Sam's hair, the small little action already providing you with comfort.

Dean broke eye contact, not wanting to see your reaction. "Dad thought that Mom died because of you."

Sam let out a grunt as you unconsciously pulled on his hair...


	5. !!

I should have done this a long time ago but as of now, this series is being discontinued. I'm sorry to all of those who enjoyed this.

**Author's Note:**

> Please give this a chance XD if u like it then bookmark it because I will be uploading more chapters soon.


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